I am proud to announce that, in the wake of all this MPs’ expenses crap, my own MP is clean.
Adam Afriye, the handsome chap, gets his own little page in the Telegraph filed under ‘the saints.’
Is it a bit sad that this feels to me like a victory? It’s almost as if, insofar as my MP represents me (despite my lack of the franchise), I can gloat in the faces of the rest of you poor bastards: ‘My MP doesn’t claim for a second home, even though his constituency is much further from Westminster than some of those who do! In fact, he doesn’t even claim for his travel costs into London!‘
Like a devoted sport fan, I achieve vicarious self-satisfaction; my chosen representative has caused me no shame.
The fact that I feel a sense of accomplishment because my MP has done what he’s supposed to do actually makes me a tiny bit sick. But oh well: we must be appreciative of the small pleasures life affords us.
In other news, David Cameron has called for the dissolution of Parliament. This would thrill me with an excitement not known to other Americans, who have not experienced the cut-and-thrust immediacy of British politics, were it not for the fact that:
Mr Cameron has demanded an election many times in the past year. But he used the expenses scandal, exposed by The Daily Telegraph, to repeat his call.
Oh, well – again. Nothing new there. [heaves great sigh] Won’t somebody please start a revolution?
Well, and so perhaps someone is. I’d be there, were it not for a prior commitment that, oddly enough, also involves donning a black-and-white uniform…