Dec 122011
 

Seriously? No, seriously?

Just cut out the middleman and let rich people sponsor a poor person. There would be less waste in the long run, jobs for council workers (the OKCupids of wealth patronage!), and a powerful social impact.

After all, why give your money to charity when you can give it to your own impecunious client?

I mean, it worked for the Romans.

  5 Responses to “Social impact bondage”

  1. I am Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus, and I approve this message.

  2. I am Donald Trump, and I, also, approve this message.

  3. I am Barack Obama. To do what you suggest would undermine the American plan for social welfare wherein all welfare recipients would, in gratitude, support Democratic candidates and leave me and successor benevolent Democratic leaders in charge of the citizenry in perpetuity. So fuck that.

  4. I am Spartacus, a freed slave and I wholly approve this

  5. How about this for a pledge that poor people could sign?

    “I am a poor-person and I would like someone rich and kind to give me a little money. In return, I promise not to go out smashing shop windows, knifing people, drinking (well, not too much, anyway) and fathering children as if they and their mums were barnyard animals. Also I will try to get a job in Wal-Mart (or wherever) if there is one going. Every three months my rich-person can come round and check that I’m up to scratch. As soon as I’m earning (say) $25,000 a year (or whatever is agreed mutually) and look like keeping that job, I promise to let my rich-person know, so we can decide what to do next.”

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