Feb 172009

more stupid shit.

Jerky guys seem to have some kind of sixth sense. They know how to disappear and re-appear at just the right time. They know when a girl is just about to give up on them, so they send an email or a text. They know how to be vague, give false hope, and keep a girl’s interest perfectly. Unlike the kid in The Sixth Sense, they don’t see dead people. They would say instead, “I see vulnerable people.””

People actually get paid to compose this drivel.

Relationship-wibble tends to interest me because most of it is inflicted by people who haven’t yet learned that they’re not the centre of the universe. (Okay, technically they are, because everywhere is the centre of the universe, but never mind that.) Nobody thinks about them, critiques them, or obsesses over them as much as they suspect.

I discovered my own insignificance at the age of 19, and what a liberating experience it was! Pass the word and share the freedom: the most comforting thing in the world to hear are the words, ‘Nobody cares, dear.’

  2 Responses to “Hotmail recommends…”

  1. Trying to convince children that “it’s not fair”, is a fairly accurate description of life.

    Nowadays, of course, you have the painful experience of “just because it’s in Wikipedia, doesn’t mean it’s true”.

    On a more positive note, it’s not that “nobody cares”, it is just that you have to work hard to find the insignificant percentage of the 4 billion or so who do care about you. For any permutation of “you”.

  2. Well, perhaps I ought to have been more specific: ‘Nobody cares that much, dear.’

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