May 262010
 

I know lots of people have already remarked on this, but this Guardian blogpost about MPs’ expenses rules has my eyes literally burning with rage.

Not because of what the rules are, of course, but because of the unattributed comments from MPs about them.

We are being treated like benefit claimants. Why don’t they just put up a metal grille?

Implicit snobbery vis a vis benefits claimants, much? As Old Holborn has said, you are benefits claimants. The only difference between an MP’s pay and a benefit claimant’s handout is that the MP pretends to do work for it. Being an MP is obviously not a hardship in any way, despite some of the slogging they have to do (constituency work, natch). The non-monetary compensations are clearly huge, else there wouldn’t be nearly so many toes scrabbling their way up the greasy pole. MPs, don’t pretend your actions are self-sacrificing, or that you are in some way noble for doing the job. You’re not – you can quit at any time, and very likely go into some other job that pays much more. (At least, those MPs with actual talent and intelligence can). But you don’t, because there’s something about being an MP that gets you off, which other jobs wouldn’t do. You’re not serving the public; you’re serving yourself, and you’re doing it with our money. So get used to being treated like benefits claimants.

For Christ’s sake, what has happened if this bloody authority doesn’t believe me when I say my wife is my wife? A utility bill to prove co-habitation? Good God.

None of the bloody authorities believe the rest of us. You want special perks from the state because you’re married? Then you have to prove over and over again that you’re actually married, actually co-habiting – check out the list of documents Shane Greer had to hand over to the state when he wanted permission to marry a foreigner. And of course those all had to be originals. And I’m willing to bet the state kept them a hell of a lot longer than IPSA will be keeping MPs’ utility bills, marriage certificates, and birth certificates. Welcome to the world you helped create, MPs: if you have to hand over original documents to the state to prove every little thing, well, you’re only living the life you’ve imposed on the rest of us.

What happens on a January night in London? I suppose I will have to take the tube, then a bus and then a long walk home. That is not safe.

We just have to accept this because the public is not with us. It will take something really horrendous, such as a woman MP being stabbed on the streets of London because she is not entitled to take a taxi home late at night, before people wake up and realise how unfair this is.

You know what? FUCK YOU. How many winter nights in London have I had to take the tube, then a bus, then walk home? Not only that, I paid for it MYSELF. Let’s put into perspective what these fucking precious female MPs are whining about: before 11pm, they can only claim for travel on public transport. After 11pm, they can claim for taxis.

I’m a woman, I never get to claim for any of these ‘not safe’ journeys on the tube, bus, etc., let alone for the luxury of a fucking taxi, and nobody in parliament worries about me getting stabbed or raped or whatever as I pay my own costs on the ‘not safe’ way.

Ooh, of course, the public will wake up and realise how ‘unfair’ this all is when a woman MP is attacked. You know what? FUCK YOU AGAIN. Women all across London are attacked on a daily basis – it’s really unfair – and MPs refuse to wake up and give a shit about the astounding amount of criminality in Britain. If an exalted lady MP feels unsafe on the fucking BUS before 11pm, how does she think we proles feel about it?

What makes me angriest, however, is the fact that, actually, tube and bus etc. aren’t even that unsafe. I’m on them constantly at all hours – including January nights – and never once has anyone threatened me, harassed me, attacked me, or made me feel even remotely uncomfortable. And, unlike these lady MPs, I’m not going home to Islington, I’m going home to fucking Brixton. If I can walk from the bus stop to my flat in Brixton without a problem, I think these bitches can do the same, especially since they still won’t be paying for it themselves.

Assholes.

  11 Responses to “Useless bitch MPs”

  1. Spot on. Every word.

    I used to live in Hackney and I wasn’t afraid to get on the bus past 11. MPs need to (wo)man the fuck up!

  2. Bravo Bella!

  3. I love this shit, it’s EXACTLY how I want MPs to behave, so people can understand that they have learnt nothing and are still the same troughing piggies as before. They all require a massive punch in the face.

    And the married thing. I mean really? Just shows how monumentally out of touch these tossbags really are with reality. The hoops regular people jump through all the time, the shitstorm that ensues if (for example) the taxman charges you too little, and this twat thinks the authorities should just “believe” he is married. I think we should make every MP do a mandatory 6-monthly CRB check, just to make sure no pedos have snuck in, then they’ll understand what not being trusted by the authorities really feels like.

    MPs, fuck you all, every single one of you, right in the eye. I wish to God Old Holborn had got into Parliament. Great post Bella.

  4. Spot on Bella.

    “It will take something really horrendous, such as a woman MP being stabbed on the streets of London because she is not entitled to take a taxi home late at night, before people wake up and realise how unfair this is”

    As I am a helpful sort of chap, here is a short Guide For Women MPs:

    Withdraw money from onshore account.
    Before leaving home in the morning/afternoon, place money in purse.
    Place purse in handbag.
    Leave home, with handbag……..
    Later
    Upon leaving Parliament, take handbag containing purse, containing money, with you.
    Hail taxi displaying “For Hire” sign.
    Once the taxi has pulled over to you, you are in the condition known as “entitled to take a taxi”.
    Tell taxi driver where you want to go.
    Upon arrival at destination (whichever of your, or perhaps someone else’s, homes you specified) exit taxi and pay driver with money from the purse in your handbag.
    Ask for receipt which will be blank, and fill in with a time after 11pm.

    It is sometimes almost impossible to imagine how we have ended up with so many total fucking inadequates in Parliament.

    • Haha, nice. You’re right – they’re almost too stupid to defraud us properly.

  5. My favourite quotation is: “But decent people in all parties are being treated in an infantile way.”

    Yes, they are. Along the length and breadth of the country, in every possible sphere of their lives, decent people are being treated in an infantile way.

    Because of you.

  6. Hi Bella, my comment is stuck in your queue, should I resend?

  7. ” If an exalted lady MP feels unsafe on the fucking BUS before 11pm, how does she think we proles feel about it?”

    I’ll wager that has never, ever crossed their minds before. In fact, I strongly suspect some of them ate unaware that we CAN think…

  8. “For Christ’s sake, what has happened if this bloody authority doesn’t believe me when I say my wife is my wife? A utility bill to prove co-habitation? Good God”.

    Good god indeed, an MP that thinks a utility bill is proof of marriage for claiming expenses. What next, “yes officer, that is my library card, it is proof that I can drive without tax and insurance”. Or this is my phone bill, it proves I do not need a biometric passport, and you can wipe your arse on it. Total fucking morons the lot of them.

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