Apr 222009

Deluged in more visa paperwork. The new permit I’m applying for has a 73-page application and 50 pages of guidance notes. It will cost me £820 to make the application, not refundable if I am turned down. I also have to provide somewhere between 8 and 12 original documents proving my antecedents. This includes:

  • my passport, which the border agency will keep until they get round to throwing me some breadcrumbs
  • two separate documents proving my qualifications
  • two separate documents proving my income in the past 12 months
  • three months’ worth of official bank statements proving funds for maintenance
  • one document proving I spent a year as a full-time student in the UK (not related to the two above for qualifications) despite the fact that I’ve lived here full-time for almost four years
  • proof that I can speak English

Now you would think, considering today’s budget, that UK plc would be desperate to attract and keep middle-class professional types like me (after all, we provide the lion’s share of tax revenue); and, rather than charging me £820 for the privilege of being a cash cow in what is now surely the worst of the first-world nations (economy at least as bad as everywhere else; climate worse than everywhere else), HM Government ought to be paying me £820 not to fuck off.

Or at least not demanding that I contribute to the UK economy in exchange for permission to continue to contribute to the UK economy.

[Some of you may wonder, in light of my bitching and moaning, why I’m so determined to stay here. No need to go into details, but there are rather compelling personal reasons.]

  One Response to “Immigration woes”

  1. Perhaps you could take a day trip to Calais and sneak back as an illegal immigrant? You would be welcomed with open arms then.

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