Whatever. As our debate went on, people toddled up one after another to sign her petition; none of whom appeared demographically to be the nightclubbing type. I pointed out to one middle aged bloke that if they ban glasses in nightclubs, pubs would be next. A look of horror appeared on his face; the woman assured him, “Oh no, it’s just nightclubs” and he went away happy that he’d signed a petition for somebody else to be treated like a child and, no, really, there’s no such thing as the slippery slope. Ho hum.

So, well, mothers. Enormous risk to liberty, so they are. They ought to be banned.

However, in all conscience I can’t. And neither do I blame them for the sad death of a free-thinking, mature 21-year-old who, had she still been around, would probably have told a nanny government, about to ban the relevant substance, to fuck right off.

Woman run over by train. Ban all trains.

Boy drowns in sea trying to rescue dog. Ban the sea. Or should it be dogs?

Man falls out of bed, hits head and dies. Ban beds?

Hang on a minute. Do you see the pattern here?

BAN PEOPLE!!!

What’s sinister about constantly and unthinkingly blaming the government for ‘not preventing’ stuff like this (and even far worse things like Baby P) is the implication the government really is responsible for us. It concedes the whole enchilada, in exchange for the fleeting satisfactions of blaming/sacking minor officials.

If you’re going to stay this side of the looking glass it might be advisable to dispense with logic, if only to keep your blood pressure within reasonable limits.